Steps to becoming a "Mrs."

So you just got engaged!

CONGRATULATIONS! You found true love!

This is the line I always tell my clients who ask me for my planning services. In this day and age, true love hardly come by since the technology age has taken over family life most of the time. True love has become very elusive and rare that it has become a privilege of the few.

After engagement, most couples don't know what to do next. Well, traditionally in the Philippines, after your girlfriend becomes a wife-to-be, both of you ask for parents blessing, and that's called "pamanhikan". It's a more structured way of engagement. There are some families who make it a very grand event, that they'd throw an elaborate engagement party where all the potential wedding guests would have a "sneak peak" of the inevitable wedding occasion. But most of the time, the "pamanhikan" (engagement meeting between families) is done in a private dinner or lunch meeting with the parents of both sides and the couple-to-marry meet and discuss the possible dates and the assignment of expenses of the wedding event.

So the date is set. Now, the wedding planning officially starts. To guide clueless brides-to-be on what to do next, here is a list of quick steps to take in order to make thru the wedding day without being too frantic about it:

1. After the date is set, hire a wedding planner. The wedding planner will tell you what to do and will save you a lot of time, money and effort in everything about the your wedding day.

2. If you cannot afford a wedding planner, the first thing you do is go to the church or religious affiliation to which you intend to hold the wedding ceremony. Check if the date is still open for booking. The best date to choose is six months to one year after the day of engagement. That will give you enough time to scout all the possible wedding supplies you need for your ideal wedding.

3. After making sure that the date is still open in the church, block the date and start processing church requirements. This is will vary from church to church. Usually, the Catholic church has more requirements than any other religious affiliations.

4. Also, process the legal papers such as Authenticated Birth Certificate, Marriage License, Certificate of No Marriage, Family Planning Seminars which are all available at the government offices of the city.

5. While waiting for the requirements and legal papers, book the 3 most important wedding suppliers:
 (1) Church, (2) Reception or Caterer (3) Photo and Videographer.

6. The next month, book the (4)  bridal shoppe for wedding gowns and men's tux. Of course by then you must have already finalized the list of entourage and wedding guests.

7. Also within the same month, book the (5) make-up artist.

8. After voluminous research and canvassing of wedding invitation design and favors, book the (6) maker of wedding invitation and distribute to guests at least 3-4 weeks before the wedding date.

9. While you are on the designs, don't forget your decorator, (7) the florist. Unless you settle of the minimal decorations which are usually included in hotel's wedding packages.

10. Lastly, book the (8) host for the wedding reception or you can ask any one of your friends or relatives to host the program for your wedding.


Other details such as sound system and lighting, music research, venue set-up, confetti's, sky lanterns, balloons, butterflies, pre-nup, post-nup pictorials, honeymoon getaway, stag party, bridal shower, etc... you can add on more activities for your wedding but of course it always comes with a price.

A quick recap on the priority things to book:
(1) Church,
(2) Reception or Caterer
(3) Photo and Videographer.
(4)  bridal shoppe for wedding gowns and men's tux
(5) make-up artist.
(6) maker of wedding invitation and favors
(7) the florist
(8) host for the wedding reception

The role of a wedding planner is to present to you many options of the different wedding suppliers so you can have the best deal of your money's worth. He / she guides you through the different choices and helps you make the right decision in every step of the way. From choosing which colors that match the season and photographic value, to the very simple detail such as which head piece to wear on the ceremony and reception.

How can you be saving money from hiring a wedding planner? Well, a wedding planner is paid to do the leg work and research and has former knowledge and experience when it comes to the said event. Instead of you roaming the city and asking one shop to another and possibly getting absences from your job, the wedding planner does it better and with all focus to your wedding event. He / she has more connections and more expertise in this matter than you do. When you hire a wedding planner, all you have to do is make a decision on the many options that will be presented to you by the wedding planner. You only have to choose what pleases you and you don't have to do the haggle, the wedding planner is best at finding a way to get things done in very affordable budget that you have set for the wedding.


There you go brides and grooms! Have a happy wedding planning!

Remember, if you  fail to plan, you are planning to fail!

For more wedding planning inquiries, you can email me at leahjacobe@gmail.com.

Let's Talk About Marriage (and not just a wedding event)

As a wedding planner, I have witnessed countless moments of couples saying "I DO" infront of the ministers of God and the people. I've seen nervous grooms, stressed-out brides, excited bridesmaids, emotional parents and eccentric crowd in the arena of the wedding ceremony.

But there's one thing I also witnessed and to my simple understanding what Marriage is all about. Here's what I understand:

A wedding is not the start of marriage nor it guarantees the start of any marriage. For many in history have made it to their wedding day with other reasons than their love for their partner. Many have fallen in the pressure of following tradition or worse bribed with coercion. Still others marry for the love of money and not for their love of the other person.

A marriage is a relationship while a wedding is an event to highlight that relationship. A marriage is created even before the wedding event. Many couples have been married for a very long time before they have decided to let the world know and share the momentous event that they have. They must be friends first with complete trust and confidence to the person of their affection.

A marriage happens when the two have committed to each other and devoted all their time and attention to supporting and making the other person become the best person he/she must be. A good marriage is knowing that your other half is out there in the world utilizing all his/her potentials and trusting that he/she'll be ready to share to you the learnings and experiences when he/she comes back to you at the end of the day.

A good marriage, even stripped off with all the glamour and glitter of a grand wedding, will withstand all the conditions that life will bring. For between the wedding event and the life of ever after, there are two people always trusting, always looking after the welfare and happiness of the other, always sharing what they have, always giving and forgiving,  always having faith and complete dependence to God for provision of graces everyday and always...

And that is what Marriage is all about.