Filipino weddings are a BIG deal in the traditional Philippine culture.
How is it a big deal?
Well, for starters, weddings in the Philippines are regarded as a great milestone in life, a very huge favor/blessing from God that needs to be celebrated with the clan. Yes, Celebrated in a grand way! Some wedding celebrations last for a couple of weeks to accommodate families, friends and relatives coming from outside the country. And because of very close-knit family ties, Philippine weddings are huge with an average of 150 guests to as much as 1000 guests at the wedding reception hall.
Since relatives, friends, families, coworkers, acquaintances come together in one event, expect a diversity full of personalities, backgrounds, and mannerisms. Whether you are invited to attend the wedding or not, you can come as long as you are closely related to the bride and groom, or parents of either wedding party for that matter.
And because guests can come from all walks of life and backgrounds, there are unwritten rules of civility that need to be followed, ESPECIALLY when you're a guest to a FILIPINO Wedding.
5 Things You Should Never Do in a Filipino Wedding
#1: Comment on anybody's weight.
It is natural for people to notice weight differences at first glance. Whether you're in a wedding or just bumped into an old friend, zip you mouth when it comes to commenting about their weight. No matter how noticeable the weight loss or weight gain may be, divert your thoughts into a different compliment.
For example, instead of saying you gained a lot of weight, say "You look lovely today." or "I like your fashion sense."
Be genuinely truthful and not make something up. This means you have to look for something positive or good in that person.
Reason for this is because people may be silently carrying negative self-image or have been struggling emotionally about "what's wrong in their body" and the more you emphasize on their insecurity, the more they'll draw away from the crowd and even avoid you in the future.
It may seem like a harmless joke, but when you're in a Filipino wedding where everyone dresses up in their best suit and attire, compliment where it is due and just keep silent when you notice unpleasant about their appearances on that day.
#2: Ask for additional menu or food other than what is served.
Filipinos are foodie people. Our tongues are native to a variety of dishes and so it is natural that in big celebrations, we tend to fill our plates with all that's offered on the buffet table. It's okay really to binge eat while in a celebration.
However, asking for something that's not in menu or not offered on the table is a no-no. That's rude and condescending attitude making you look an entitled idiot. Unless you paid for the wedding, your only right is where you should be seated accordingly.
The couple and their families prepared for this day and I'm sure they thought hard about the menu and what to serve their guests according to what they can afford.
The key here is RESPECT the family that invited you in. Eat whatever they have prepared for the guests and swallow your stinking behavior.
#3: Hoard Wedding Souvenirs or Welcome gifts.
I've been a wedding souvenir hoarder once and I realized it's not worth it. I know Filipinos love to accumulate trinkets, souvenirs, and memorabilia from important events. Ultimately, what you've hoard will end up on the display cabinet gathering dust in the years to come.
So, check your greed once in awhile. Sometimes, there are extra souvenirs that may be left on the table because some invited guests did not arrive. Usually, the the Davao wedding coordinator will secure them so that couple will deliver them later on to appreciate these people's presence in their lives, not just during the wedding.
Although there may be extra souvenirs or favors, it does not give you the right to "own" it as you already have been given your share of the souvenirs.
#4: Stand in the way of the Photographers.
There are many worst things that could happen in an event or any occasion in life. But if you caused the mishap, then you are responsible for the consequences of your actions.
The couple hired a photo and video team for a reason. These professionals have trained for many years and understand the conditions that affect a great photo.
Now, if you're a guest in the wedding, we understand your excitement, eagerness, and eccentric feelings during the day. And perhaps you're thinking you have the latest phone with the best specs to capture a photo so why not capture unlimited photos and videos, right? You'd probably want to position on the aisle or the middle of the stage to capture special moments, but I beg you to STOP for awhile.
Didn't you ever consider that despite your friend or family of the couple knowing that you have the latest gadget, they didn't authorize you to document their wedding?
So when you hinder the way of the professional photographers and video team, you are actually destroying the couple's wedding day. So, please let the professionals do what they're best at.
#5: Ask to be included in the hair and makeup or entourage.
Filipinos love to look nice in the photos. We understand that if you are family or close friend, you get the priority being chosen as part of the entourage or VIP in the wedding.
But as long as you were not included in the wedding entourage or any package, don't insist. And if you do insist, please have the courtesy to pay for your own attire, hair and makeup or whatever wedding package you're trying to avail.
Conclusion
Weddings bring out the best of all emotions. And it is one day that everything seems beautiful, grand and bliss. Couple strive hard to organize their dream weddings as promoted in the movies. No one really knows the struggles, efforts, time and money put into planning and organizing a wedding, so as a guest, family, close friend, colleague or acquaintance, give them all the SUPPORT they can get from you without overstepping their boundaries.
You may suggest ideas, but never impose. You may express your opinion, but it is up to them to decide what's best for them given their time and resources on hand.
There are more tips on what to do and not to do during weddings. These are just the tip of the iceberg!
If you are considering hiring a wedding planner in Davao City, feel free to reach out to me here.
Happy Wedding Planning!
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